THE LAST COLUMNIST

RED WINGS Hats off and teeth out to the Detroit Red Wings and the crowd at Joe Louis Arena for game 7 Of the Stanley Cup Finals. The crowd showed respect to the visiting team and took their defeat to the Pittsburgh Penguins by standing for the presentation of the Stanley Cup. The people of Detroit always save this city by keeping personal dignity and having respect for others while the regions economy collapses. The support for their own teams with the ability to accept defeat and congratulate their opponent should be a Sociology course at every school. Thank you for a great seven games, and remember, what happens after the seventh is what it's all about my friends. DETROIT LIONS Is there anybody out there that can convince the Ford family to give Mike Illitch the Detroit Lions for a birthday present? The Ford family isn't even trying to win anything with the Lions. There are many, highly qualified NFL coaches available for the job. The Ford's keep hiring apprentice assistants for highly skilled journeyman jobs proving they don't care what happens on the field. If the NFL takes away the Thanksgiving Day game it will be another long standing tradition we can't afford to lose in this State. I wonder if they can get a tax write off for losing. That's the only reason I could come up with for the obvious lack of concern for the teams success. Maybe they really just don't know what they are doing.

SPORTS SECTION

Tell Coach Rodriguez To Answer The Phone, His Destiny Is Calling

    Whether or not the good people of Ann Arbor spend their summer exploring the world or stay in town to appreciate the students being away, an army of college football hopefuls gather to practice down the street. They are brought together from all over the country with dreams of organizing as a team to destroy all that stand between the Wolverines and a National Championship. Have no mercy on them Gentlemen, have no mercy. The old school masters are waiting once again for their Turn of the Century style of football to be unleashed on the infidels. The Ghost of Fielding Yost sits in the unsold #01 seat listed on the Attendance Capacity sign of 106,701. One seat is always left unsold in his honor by a long standing agreement that if he found a way to come back to watch on Football Saturday, he would have the best seat in the Big House. True fact Ladies and Gentlemen.

    Coach Rodriguez has an opportunity that few men are given in their life's endeavors. The University of Michigan football program has unsurpassed financial, emotional and historical foundations that give any coach a head start. Rodriguez doesn't even need it, he just needs to get in gear and he will my friends. He has earned the respect he attained in the Coaching World. Call last season a learning experience if it makes you feel better. I say whatever it was, the dust has settled and it is time to un-leash the team that Coach Rodriguez decided to build with the backing of The U of M's mighty program. Coach Rodriguez won't make excuses; he will make a National Championship run with the most highly organized team in the Country. Phone call is over Coach, your destiny awaits you.

    Over the course of the University of Michigan football season The Last Columnist will provide a wide range of commentary on events surrounding The Wolverines. There will be photos of the stadium and team that I will use to fill up space in the eyes of a local, but to my international audience it will be a chance to view a spectacle that most of us take for granted. I will be including Football Saturday stories from growing up in the late 1970's; we attended every game one way or another. The last game of the season will never be the same without Woody Hayes showing up, but we can't hit replay on life.

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