Huron River Health

Summer 2009
Fishermen/women along Ann Arbor's dominion of the Huron River are reporting heavy Bass activity above Argo and Barton Dams. Anglers stopping along Huron River Dr. and launching their boats from the shoulder are having great success trolling among the cattails and lily pads in the river bend. Black fly bombardment is beginning to subside for the season so take your boat or canoe out for my kind of Sunday Drive.

There are reports of good size Walleye being caught; one boater showed me a few in his cooler. He was fishing below Barton Dam when he caught them. We were wondering if the Walleye are coming down from fish stocking projects upriver at Kensington Metropark. Any marine biologist types out there can e-mail me at thelastcolumnist@juno.com if you have any answers.

My friends fishing above and below the dam at Dixboro Road say Gallup Park to the dam is Carp City. Bass and Panfish are hitting out in open water. Carp account for 50% of the hook harassment ratio, 90% in the coves. They are fine to catch from the point of view of Fishing as a Sport. Just don't be abusive or disrespectful to the fish if practicing catch and release. The fish has to live with any pain the fisherman inflicts on it after being released back into the water.

Based on the observations of fish and abundant wildlife presence, I would say we have a healthy river system and forest. We have the perfect model forest/river/city community of the future. Or is it already here?

Great Outdoors:

Ann Arbor's Lost Campfire Carp Recipe

    Passed down generation to generation by Ann Arbor, Michigan's most prominent Carp fishing families from Barton Hills to Stony Brook, was this un-documented recipe. Through bribery, blackmail and giving somebody along the Huron River 50 loaves of wheat bread, I have obtained the much coveted and highly valuable recipe for cooking Carp.

     The Carp is the most heavily maligned fish found in the Great Lakes Fisheries System. Originally imported from Europe by early settlers wanting the taste of the Old Country, this gourmet delicacy has been all but forgotten by todays so called modern angler.

    Carp are disrespected by the population due to their appearance and reputation for being bottom feeders in heavily polluted waters. Modern angler's aim their casts for the more predictable, boring and tasteless Salmon or Lake Trout. Using fancy fly fishing apparatus, spawn bags or foot long tandem lures, they have forgotten the glorious sport of standing on the shore, attaching a bread ball to the end of a hook and dropping it on the bottom of a river.

     The excitement of standing there staring into oblivion for hours while your giant bread ball soaks up water, waiting to see if you can actually outsmart the most intelligent fish species on Earth, is in its own self an un-recognized Human Achievement. The reason most people don't fish for Carp isn't because they have forgotten the Space-Age bread ball and hook technology, but the ancient cooking technology used to properly prepare this magnificent fish.

     No, it has nothing to do with the mythical mud vein across the back of this noble Game Fish. Here it is People, the most sought after Carp recipe almost lost due to Human ignorance.

     First you have to find a dead Carp. Now you want to cook it. Never cook a Carp in the oven or on a stove top. This is an outdoorsman fish, you cook the Carp over a roaring campfire. Once you start the campfire get a 2x4 board cut from a White Pine. With a hammer and nails attach the Carp to the 2x4 and place it on the roaring campfire (Carp face up) until the board is charred black. Using an oven mitt; turn it over, Carp down, for 30 seconds then face back up for 5 final minutes. Remove from fire. Now using a crowbar remove the Carp from the board, throw the Carp in a garbage bag and eat the board.

    To my international audience that visits my website for serious discussions on Geopolitical Events affecting our everyday lives, I must say- Yes Ladies and Gentlemen; The Last Columnist does indeed have a sense of humor. There's nothing like a good Carp joke, I am not advocating Carp Abuse.

    The Ann Arbor Chamber of Commerce and City Hall should start the 1st Annual Carp Festival along the Huron River to help the economy. It would help us get rid of all these Carp if the Festival included a carp fishing contest. The City could pay a 10 cent bounty on every Carp lip turned in during the Festival. The City of Ann Arbor collects then donates the fish for Friday Night Fish Fry dinners at The Salvation Army and local shelters in Southeast Michigan.

    Then promote a model for other communities to use their natural resources through fishing or hunting to help the less fortunate in their community on a large scale, including all the other fish species that are flourishing in our beautiful river. The tourism possibilities for the Huron River are limitless; from fishing, boating and canoeing, to hiking and bicycling the many miles of river pathways that connect Ann Arbor to the rest of the world. The word Carp was used 21 times in this article.

Please send inquiries by E-mail to thelastcolumnist@juno.com.